Couples
We are all relational beings, always in relationship with ourselves and with others. Conflict and emotional anguish can develop in intimate relationships when partners/spouses feel their needs are not validated or met in their relationship, and their trust in each other is lost. When a couple do not know how to soothe their own or each other’s painful emotions, or they invalidate certain aspects of each other, they can find themselves in a spiral of confusion, a dance of dispute and disconnection.
Quite often, couples struggle for years in their relationship for years before they seek help and support from a professional therapist. Couples rarely come to work on their relationship ‘ too soon’, and often leave it until they realise their relationship is in crisis. Some couples hesitate to enter therapy together when their problems first begin, concerned that recognising a need for therapy confirms something is wrong in their relationship. It takes courage to acknowledge you are having problems.
The good news is that sooner you both commit to beginning therapy together, the better are your chances of repairing the difficulties that have developed between you.
Is there a breakdown in communication?
Some of the relationship issues that my clients bring when they are experiencing difficulties between them include:
- Feeling unheard/invalidated or manipulated/controlled
- Intimacy, infidelity and sexual difficulties
- Secrets and/or fear of discussing certain topics together
- Feeling alone or confused in the relationship
- Feelings of insecurity, jealousy and distrust in the relationship.
- Endless arguments that repeat in escalating negative cycles without compromise or consensus
- Unresolved past trauma, abandonment or loss
- Struggles with addictions
I work with couples where both of you are ready and willing to explore your life experiences, your emotions, and how these impact your experience of yourself and your partner currently in your relationship. I prioritise safety, respect and connection for both partners and for the relationship. I do not diagnose or use labels such as disorder or dysfunction.
I invite each of you to become both curious and compassionate towards all aspects of yourselves. As you both develop understanding of your own range of emotions, responses and aspects of ‘self’ in your own inner experience, I support you as a couple to communicate more clearly and deeply with each other as you become more able to:
- Understand and express your own emotions, needs, hurts and hopes
- Listen with empathy and compassion to your partner
- Understand and repair inevitable ruptures
- Prioritise the needs of both of you as individuals, as well as your needs in your relationship
- Stay connected both with yourself and your partner even in times of stress and relational difficulties.
If you and your partner/spouse recognise that you are in relationship distress or crisis, and if you are both equally motivated to discover ways to change how you relate and communicate with each other, please get in touch to discuss how I can help you.
